Spinning Out Of Control...

“I have no regrets in my life. I think that everything happens to you for a reason. The hard times that you go through build character, making you a much stronger person.”

This week got off to a rough start. Life is most definitely throwing me a few curves balls right now, and I'm finding it hard to dodge them all. I feel like I am spinning out of control and I can't find the ground. I've been so overwhelmed with emotions and stress. My mind has no time to rest and recuperate from constantly racing. Currently working three jobs, 60+ hours a week and trying to find time for myself is a little difficult. I'm still trying to make friends and learn the area, after two months... it's getting better. I work with some pretty amazing people, which makes work enjoyable! Besides that, I've been missing home a lot the past couple of days. I'm out of my comfort zone; but that was the whole reason I moved here in the first place, right? To get out of my comfort zone, and grow. I still think moving here was the best thing I've done for myself... I guess it's just hard when you hit a rut and you don't have a support system to get you out. That's okay though, because what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? I'm going to get thru this, just like I have every other rough patch in the past. I understand that everyone changes, and life changes... so here's a toast to life & the unexpected - God is the perfect poet. If he brings you to it, he will bring you through it. ♥

Brights Lights...

The view from my apartment on the 22nd floor. It's going to be hard to leave this place...

Tattooed..

Faith is a knowledge within the heart beyond the reach of proof...

Expression thru Writing 3..

These tears keep rolling down my face
The reason why, I cannot find
It always seems there's something wrong
I can't erase these worries on my mind

Another day quickly passes by
And yet, I feel my life's been put on pause
I feel trapped in my own body
I stay wrapped up in all these flaws

Regardless of what you think
I am trying my best to make it through
I'm trying to hold together the pieces like glue

I know I can do this
Just please have some faith in me
Don't cut me down today
I feel as if I'm almost free
I just need you to believe in me...

Expression thru Writing 2..

Here we go again
Speaking words, not making sense
But you don't understand
I broke my heart with my own hands
And I will go blind
While searching for the sun
And I will never find who I used to be

So tell me how I'm supposed to feel
And tell me if this was ever real
Can I go back to the start
Before you break my heart

And all I'm trying to see
Is the grace in tragedy
And what I cannot find
Is another piece of mind

I can't feel the earth that's moving
Underneath my feet
But I can feel I'm falling forward
And I start to bleed

so tell me how I'm supposed to feel
And tell me if this was ever real

Cause all I'm trying to see
If the grace in tragedy
But what I cannot find
Is another piece of mind

Expression thru Writing..

Wait, there's a piercing pain in my chest
And I can barely breathe
Every time you stand beside me
And pull this knife out of my heart
That I've so deeply wedged
Just like the story of Romeo & Juliet

Just take another look at us
And tell me what you're thinking of

Please don't leave me today
You are all that I have
Please don't hurt me, it's not over
Just give us one more chance
Let me try this again
I won't leave you
Maybe we can get this right...

You take the air from my lungs
And the beat from my heart
And I will always be yours baby
I'll stand in the pouring rain
Until I hear you say
I will always be yours baby

Just take another look at us
And tell me what you're thinking of

Please don't leave me today
You are all that I have
Please don't hurt me, it's not over
Just give us one more chance
Let me try this again
I won't leave you
Maybe we can get this right...

Right now I am falling
I am falling, into a sea
And I'm reaching and I'm hoping
That you'll save me from my destiny
I know that I have made mistakes
Just don't walk away today...

Jay Z Interview on BBC... check it!

Jay Z talks about his childhood and growing up in a rough part of Brooklyn and the starting of his music career. Inspiration :)

A little Drake, Weezy, Ye & Eminem - FoReVeR

T-Pain Shows Ellen How to Use Auto Tune!

Ahhhh hahaha I LOVE Ellen! She's great!

Question of the Day :)

What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?
You should ask yourself this everyday, then attempt to do something you never thought you could do :)

Laugh More. Smile More :)

So a little tid bit about me... one of my nicknames, "Smiley". All I do is smile! I'm almost always in a good mood, and if I'm not, I'm still smiling because I know things will look up! Smiling & laughing; just as yawning, is sooo contagious, it's ridiculous! You can turn someone's bad day completely around just by giving them an honest smile! :) Make someone's day! ♥

Collecting My Thoughts...

This is currently where I'm posted. Relaxing & blogging. "Cafetto".


People watching is always so much fun :) You see people do some of the most random things, make the funniest faces, and trip over themselves (while turning around to make sure noone saw) when they think noone is looking! Haha comedy!

Dope Quote ♥

"When I started flirtin' with the hustle, failure became by ex. Now I'm engaged to the game and married to success." - Lil Wayne

Speaking of Weezy.... dope scarf! That was most definitely a hot trend setter! Everyyyyone has them now! They look good with practically anything - summer, winter, spring or fall :) I have definitely stolen a couple from @jsawyer86 a few times and rocked them too!

Wii Ping Pong =) Killin' it!

♥ this quote

"Life is a tragedy for those who feel but a comedy for those who think." - Horace Walpole

Be able to take the hit...

"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But, it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that!" - Rocky Balboa

Window to the Soul ♥

All the truth eyes can tell... You can see all emotions; their fear, shyness, happiness, sadness, regret, etc. You can tell when someone is ashamed or hurt if they tend to look away, or may not be able to look you straight in the eyes. I always use this to try and read people. Eyes are the window to our soul - you can get a lot of answers from them if you pay close attention.

My New Life...

I absolutely love Big City Life =) The culture and lifestyle here is completely new to me and so inspiring! I learn and experience something new everyday! I definitely needed this change in my life! ♥

Something's Missing...

I am really missing my piano back home today. I've been wanting to play so much lately and attempt to put some kind of music to my lyrics... but I have nothing down here! I need to start saving money for a sick keyboard! So I guess this will have to do for now.. :)

Love Some John Mayer ♥

Most definitely one of my favorite artists ever. Any song of his can always relax me and turn my mood around! Good stuff :)

Kid Cudi - Man on the Moon :)

I have most definitely enjoyed listening to every song on this album! The music, lyrics, rhythms... so sick! It's motivational music for sure!

Yummm :)

Waffle cones, just by themselves, are one of my FAVortite things! ♥

my life unedited ♥

I'm custom fitted. The way I walk, way I talk; my swagger ♥


So I guess I never did tell my story... the reason for me being in Miami in the first place. Well, I grew up in a small beach town, born and raised; never got the chance to move away. There's only so much you can do in a little beach bum town. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love it there... but I felt like it was time for me to spread my wings and do my own thing. I always thought about the possibilities with moving away and living in a bigger city. I felt that it would help me further myself and my interests. Growing up I took five years of piano lessons and from there taught myself. I still absolutely love it and would like to pursue something of the sort because music is my euphoria... but my main passions are photography and writing! I was starting to feel like I took photographs of things repeatedly because I was running out of ideas! Writing was still going well, but I needed new ideas and something to boost my motivation. So around the beginning of this year, my boyfriend and I started talking about all the things we wanted to do, and possible cities to make it happen! I was getting sooo excited just thinking about actually getting out of my hometown, trying something new, starting a new life. The first option... Nashville, TN. At first, I was beyond thrilled! I started looking at apartments and pictures of the city (seeing as how I had never been there and wanted to check out my new home). I was applying for jobs and making plans. Then a couple months down the road, things came up that seemed to get in the way of that plan. Things seemed more difficult and weren't quite falling in place. Maybe Nashville wasn't the place to go. Lounging around one night, a great friend called. My boyfriend, friend and myself started talking about all the problems we were running into with our moving plans. My friends' response, "Let's just go to Miami!!" And it was over. That's all he had to say. My eyes lit up at the thought of still being able to be near the beach, bright lights, overpowering buildings, busy highways and amazing opportunity! And from there, the planning began! So less than two months later, I packed everything I owned in my car and was making the 12 hour haul down to my new home! It all fell together quickly, but perfectly. So here I am... pursuing my passions. I've been here for almost two months, and getting a slow start, but it's starting to look up! I've been taking as many pictures as possible! There are so many amazingggg things to see and places to go here. It's absolutely inspiring! Plus, I've been writing my butt off! So that's that for now... we'll see where it leads. I'm leaving it in God's hands :)

Song of the Day :)

What's in a Friendship?

What's in a friendship? You know the steps to take to start one... and you're off! The bond you share seems great for a while! You're hanging out all the time, basically inseparable. You're sharing laughs, having drinks, making jokes, revealing everything secret about yourself and who you are, there's nothing that could break this bond... everything is great. Then somewhere along the way, something happens and the friendship goes sour. There is no going back to how things were. You don't feel the same comfort being around that person; there's no trust. So can you ever really know someone? I guess you can... you can know them for who they are when you met them, but sometimes people change. That's how life goes. Certain occurrences take place in peoples' lives and they are no longer someone who you vibe with. No particular "wrong" happened between the two of you personally, but life just just takes us our separate ways to fulfill our dreams. You still keep in contact, but the closeness drifts. On the other hand... there are those who will form a tight bond with you. It seems like a "forever friendship" until you find out who they are underneath the mask. People will use others to get ahead in life. It happens everyday. They don't take into consideration the effect it has on the other end of the wire. You receive no remorse, no care as to your feelings being crushed. It's a painful process to deal with sometimes when you become really close with someone as fake as a three dollar bill! I have now been in that situation a couple of times, so it was on my mind.
"No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow." - Alice Walker

SiLlY tImE :-P

this is me ♥

Quote for the Day :)

"Always dream and shoot higher than you know how to. Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself." - William Faulkner

I always try to keep in mind that you can always do better than your best. I'm not living my life for other people, I'm living my life for myself. Therefore, I make sure that whatever journey God decides for me to take in life, it's what I want and it's making me happy. I always over achieve. Since I was young, I have always gone the extra mile... especially in school. Maybe back then it had a little to do with the fact that my Mom was a teacher at my Elementary School and I just wanted to show her how smart I was. Ha! But then again, I really just wanted to learn. I was always asking questions and asking for more assignments to do! Outside of school, I was always to curious as to finding out how things worked the way they did. I would take things apart, just to put them back together, look up editorials, watch videos. I did the same with my music. My parents bought me a guitar when I was in middle school and I would play around with it for hours trying to make the sound come out the way I wanted it to! Needless to say, I found that task a little difficult; but I still continued to try. A couple of years down the road, I started taking piano lessons. This came natural to me and it became a great passion of mine! I practiced day and night and fell in love with the music I could make... I wanted to learn everything I could! And now... many years later, that concept still remains the same. Although few of my interests have changed (besides music), I am continuously wanting to learn. Any information that my mind consumes allows me to better myself and my talent. All these people around you may be great mentors and help you down your path to success and greatness, and you should let them; but just make sure that everything you're doing is for you, only you, and noone else. Take all advice and suggestions into consideration, but don't let it overpower your own intelligence. Do what makes your heart smile!

forever ♥

I lay my hand on your waist,
to feel your body move in slow motion.
In the silence of the night,
can you still hear me sing;
all these words from my heart?
I'm lying next to you while you sleep,
you're the one I've been waiting for.
And I'll love you now,
always and forever ♥
Just promise me you won't change.

Kanye Outburst @ VMA's...

For anyone who missed this, just wanted to post it! Blew my mind... definitely didn't expect him to do that! I think I would have hit him with the award and then continued on! That was just ridiculous. HA! Ohh Ye...

Expression Thru Music...

"Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent." - Victor Hugo

This quotes reigns so true. There have been countless times where my feelings have been bottled up inside me for so long, and I had no idea what to do. I didn't know how to talk about them, or show them, other than to write and play my piano. These two things release so much energy and weight off my shoulders. It's the most amazing feeling in the world to be able to clear my mind in that way. Writing allows me to share my emotions and ideas with people. It's my way of explaining, without "explanation".

The Twilight Saga - New Moon

Comes out two days after my birthday! November 20, 2009... I can't wait!!!!!

Use Somebody - Paramore

One of my favorite songs... so happy they did a cover because I absolutely loveee her voice!

The Start of My Journey...

Have you ever wanted something so bad you can taste it?! You knew it was right around the corner, but there was also many steps you must take before you reach it. It seems like you'll never make it. Life keeps throwing curve balls and obstacles in your way. This is exactly how I've felt lately. It's frustrating, but I cease to give up! I keep pushing because I know that at the end of the day, I've made it one step closer. It feels like one big struggle right now to keep my head above water. It's all new... new city, new jobs, new people. I'm taking everything in; as it inspires me. The culture here is amazing! I have gained so much knowledge that keeps me motivated since moving here. Taking that huge step to leave everything I ever knew, just happened to be the best decision I ever made! It was the perfect time to spread my wings, and soar. So I keep writing and keep pushing to be great at what I love; making great friends and connections along the way. Live life with arms wide open! :)

A little bit from me...

Carolina Beach Pier, NC. 2008.


Foggy Day @ Wrightsville Beach, NC. 2008.


Sunset on the coast of Maine. 2007.


Another beautiful sunset in Maine. 2007.


Snow Day in Wilmington, NC. 2009.


Portland Head Lighthouse in Cape Elizabeth, Maine. 2007.

my sidekick. :)

HOVAAAA

Throw Your Diamonds in the Skyyy!

One of my favorite songs! Rhianna throwin up the Diamond is HOT! Andddd I think someone needs to find me the picture of all three of them throwing up the sign :) Thanks!

9/11 Remembrance...

Such a hot performance from Hov! This was one of my favorites from the night...

Quote to start the day...

"I can't give you a surefire for success, but I can give you a recipe for failure: try to please everyone all the time." - Herbert Swope

@JSawyer86 - Check him out...

He just did this dope Jordan feature yesterday and has pieces of his favorite performances from last nights 9/11 show by HOVs on his blog. Pretty interesting postings. Plus, he's a sickkk artist... so stay tuned for upcoming videos of his work :)

Stronger Today...

These tears keep rolling down my face
The reason why, I cannot find
It always seems there's something wrong
I can't erase these worries on my mind

Another day quickly passes by
And yet, I feel my life's been put on pause
I feel trapped in my own body
I stay wrapped up in all these flaws

Regardless if what you think
I am trying my best to make it thru
I think I'm getting stronger as each day passes
I'm trying to hold together the pieces like glue

I know I can do this
Just please have faith in me
Don't cut me down today
I feel as if I'm almost free
I just need you to believe in me

Breezy...

captivation. classic.

One person who has motivated me to the fullest to do what I love... And for that push, I am grateful. He is one amazing person, with great accomplishments. Check him out at www.relentlessdynamics.blogspot.com

New High

He says I'm a mess
I just look at him and smile
The sound of his voice is worth all the while
I try not to let myself fall into his eyes
But it's so hard... time to revise
This ridiculous gimmick of mine

My mind is running wild
I ran out of time
It turned he ave me what I needed
To cross the line between my anguish and ecstasy
I'm happier than I'll ever be
Without the echoing worries and strains put on me

You're better off, they always said
But I knew it right from the start
He's just a memory in my head
Another lonely broken heart

But I'll make it thru like I always do
This won't bring me down for long
It's a brand new day
And he says, "I wish you'd stay..."

He's my new high...
Something I need to get by everyday
My mind is clear of everything
My heart starts racing as he starts to sing

He makes my body numb with temptation
His seductive smile and bedroom eyes are no relation
To his heart that's as big as the ocean
And th grey blue skies of this earth

I let you change my life when you let me come inside
So hold on tight...
Cause you're going for a ride tonight that will change your life once again.

Painting Emotions

Everyday with you
Is a feeling I can't explain
I breathe you in with every breath I take
I feel you running thru my veins

You are my radiant star in a black sky
A world I never knew unfolds
Every picture paints a different emotion
Take this roll of film and watch as a story is told

Looking into your eyes
I see a soul so deep, so true
There's more than meets the eye
Love takes over and you're coming unglued

In disbelief, I lay in front of you
Staring at the amazing girl God has given me
You're in my future as fas as I can see
I'll never let go of the love you give me

Safe Haven

You are my safe haven
A new place to call home
A new day is breaking
I don't feel so alone

There goes another beautiful sunset
Followed by another sunrise
Every reason I smile
Lies behind your eyes

You are everything I hoped for
And nothing I ever knew
The sky is finally clearing now
The sun is radiating thru

Can I tell you, you're amazing
So honest and true
I've never felt so alive
It's all thanks to you

So I'm taking this time
Writing a song for you
To tell you that each day that passes
I'm falling head over heels for you ♥